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okayawesomeTitle: Death and Chocolate
Fandom: Discworld
Rating: G
Pairing?: Susan/Lobsang
Spoilers?: Spoilery for "Thief of Time"
Word Count: 1,510
Summary: Even Lobsang can't make a moment last forever, but he'll do the best he can.
In the outside world, they knew it was all right when the sun rose again; or at least, those who knew what had happened, how all of time stopped and all of history was smashed to pieces and stitched back together in an instant. The ones who had been there knew at dawn, and they were the only ones who needed to know. History has to be observed by someone, after all, but any someone will do.
Here, though, the sun neither rose nor set. It was early in the morning, but it was always early in the morning, and always would be. Cherry blossoms fell lightly on the white sheets of the bed, and that was strange, because the couple sharing the bed were indoors and nowhere near any cherry blossoms at all. In fact, their surroundings were rather unimpressive - what had begun in Miss Susan's tiny stationary cupboard had moved to her rather tinier room above Slate Street.
But in Lobsang's perfect, unbroken world, there were cherry blossoms, falling as the cherries just began to ripen. Always cherry blossoms.
The boy who was Time stirred and stretched himself. His eyes opened and focused on the ceiling, pupils bright with distant stars. He blinked once, and then rolled over onto his elbow to look at the woman who lay beside him. Susan Sto Helit murmured something in her deep, warm sleep and rolled onto her back as if she felt his gaze upon her. Her stern face was softened with sleep and dawn light, and her hair lay mussed even more than usual about her face - which was saying a lot for a woman whose hair looked as if it had been rubbed against an electric generator in its natural state. He liked her this way, but it was strange to see her like this. She seemed like a woman driven on by anger and determination, and with neither of those in her face she looked like a different person entirely. Strange to wake up next to a different person you had gone to bed with - but then, he supposed that was what his father had done every day, married to Time. Recreated and destroyed in a moment...
Except for this moment, never destroyed nor rebuilt. The one moment. He sighed and lay back again. There was no time here, yet he knew it was soon by their standards that he would have to leave her. He contemplated for a moment that might have lasted a nanosecond or a thousand years, and then decided not to wake her. He at least had time to let her sleep in. Schoolteachers didn't often get to do that anyway.
Eventually, she awoke on her own time. She went through none of that sleepy, half-awareness that most normal people carried with them when they woke up from a long sleep. She was simply asleep, and then she was awake, and the moment her eyes opened she sat up and began to fix her hair. No matter how they had spent the night, she was Miss Susan through and through. She glanced over at him, her face already settled into its usual stern lines - but after a moment she smiled.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"You're saying that to me?" He gave her a wry look, which she exchanged after a moment of realization. "Don't worry," he continued. She knew as well as he that when he left, she would be back in her classroom just at closing time, as she had been when he had found her.
"I'm not." She slid the sheets off, hiding the very slight embarrassment she felt as she stood, naked. Her face was even and calm as she looked at him, and then looked away. She began to dress, and he watched her, unembarrassed, though not immodest. If she had asked, he would have looked away. They were not human... but they were mostly human, anyway.
"...Lobsang?" she said quietly after a comfortable silence had passed between them, buttoning up her slim, severe black dress.
He sat up fully, leaning his back against the window sill. "Yes?"
"Well. I mean." She sighed, hating herself for asking the question, and turned to look at him. "What happens now?"
He smiled softly. Perhaps a little sadly. And stars glittered in his eyes, stars of ages past. "...I've got my duties, and you've got yours." He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and took her hand in his. "...This isn't the last time your grandfather will need you, Susan. I can tell you that much." She grimaced. She could have told him that, but she hardly wanted to. She wasn't exactly thrilled with the way Death seemed to feel he could use her at his slightest whim. And he always knew what buttons to press! Despite the situation she felt herself coloring like a child, half in indignation and half at Lobsang's gentle reminder. Oh, she knew all too well what they were and what duties they had - but even she wanted to forget that from time to time. Perhaps all the time.
She sat down at his side, and he took her other hand. Her eyes lifted to his, and with a smile that glittered with the reflections of Time's crystalline world, he let go and lifted his hands to smooth her wild hair back. "...If you want me," he said softly, "I'll find you."
"How? You'll only know when to look." She smiled. "I should be the one to look for you."
He returned the smile with a grin of his own. "But you'll only know where to look." Her smile faded, and she nodded with a sigh. "I found you once," he continued. "I'll just come to when I know where you'll be."
"And how will you know that?" she demanded, puzzlement furrowing her pale brow.
"I found you this time, didn't I?" He continued to grin, and after a moment she sighed and smiled in return.
"And if not..." she said thoughtfully after a moment. "If we can't find each other, I mean..." Always the practical one, always prepared to see the worst. It wasn't hard to do that when you knew the worst just naturally tended to happen. It wasn't hard to see that when you were who she was. "...Then we'll always have here."
"And now," he agreed. He touched her face. "I have to go. You know there are things that I can't ignore." She nodded. She knew. It was just the same as Death. He did not have to be present at every single death, he did not have to personally reap the soul of every once-living being, just as Lobsang did not have to watch over every moment of time personally - but Death had to be there all the same, and so did the boy that had become Time. For when it was important. She nodded again. She knew; she understood.
She did not speak, but there was no more need of words. He leaned forward to her, and she shut her eyes. She felt a faint, cool tingle on her lips, and a warm breeze waft through the closed window and over her face. The perfect day. The perfect moment. She still felt the bed beneath her, but she knew it would not be there when she opened her eyes. There was something soft and silky on the back of her hand. He had not gotten dressed. His clothes? The sheets? The cherries...
She held on as long as she could, but all too soon she felt cold, practical Miss Susan creeping into the warmth she wanted to stay with. The thing on her hand seemed to get harder until she was sure it was just one of the gold stars she kept for her students, and the air got closer and closer, until there was no way to deny that she was, in fact, in a cupboard. His clothes were gone, or as good as gone. No cherries. No perfect moment...
She sighed and opened her eyes. She was sitting on a chest in the stationary cupboard, in the dark, alone. But something caught her eye... And she looked down, and despite herself, she felt her eyes burn.
On her hand, on the back of her hand, lay a perfect, rosy pink cherry blossom petal, caught forever falling in a perfect moment in time. On the chest beside her lay a small bag of chocolates. With her other hand, she carefully reached into the bag and selected a chocolate carefully, pushing it past her bruised lips and chewing thoughtfully.
It was a nougat.
She began to laugh through the burning in her eyes, and shut them in the darkness. The backs of her eyelids glittered like faraway supernovas, and she began to chew.
It was a nougat; but somehow, she no longer minded at all.
After all... even with a nougat, you could have a perfect moment.
Fandom: Discworld
Rating: G
Pairing?: Susan/Lobsang
Spoilers?: Spoilery for "Thief of Time"
Word Count: 1,510
Summary: Even Lobsang can't make a moment last forever, but he'll do the best he can.
In the outside world, they knew it was all right when the sun rose again; or at least, those who knew what had happened, how all of time stopped and all of history was smashed to pieces and stitched back together in an instant. The ones who had been there knew at dawn, and they were the only ones who needed to know. History has to be observed by someone, after all, but any someone will do.
Here, though, the sun neither rose nor set. It was early in the morning, but it was always early in the morning, and always would be. Cherry blossoms fell lightly on the white sheets of the bed, and that was strange, because the couple sharing the bed were indoors and nowhere near any cherry blossoms at all. In fact, their surroundings were rather unimpressive - what had begun in Miss Susan's tiny stationary cupboard had moved to her rather tinier room above Slate Street.
But in Lobsang's perfect, unbroken world, there were cherry blossoms, falling as the cherries just began to ripen. Always cherry blossoms.
The boy who was Time stirred and stretched himself. His eyes opened and focused on the ceiling, pupils bright with distant stars. He blinked once, and then rolled over onto his elbow to look at the woman who lay beside him. Susan Sto Helit murmured something in her deep, warm sleep and rolled onto her back as if she felt his gaze upon her. Her stern face was softened with sleep and dawn light, and her hair lay mussed even more than usual about her face - which was saying a lot for a woman whose hair looked as if it had been rubbed against an electric generator in its natural state. He liked her this way, but it was strange to see her like this. She seemed like a woman driven on by anger and determination, and with neither of those in her face she looked like a different person entirely. Strange to wake up next to a different person you had gone to bed with - but then, he supposed that was what his father had done every day, married to Time. Recreated and destroyed in a moment...
Except for this moment, never destroyed nor rebuilt. The one moment. He sighed and lay back again. There was no time here, yet he knew it was soon by their standards that he would have to leave her. He contemplated for a moment that might have lasted a nanosecond or a thousand years, and then decided not to wake her. He at least had time to let her sleep in. Schoolteachers didn't often get to do that anyway.
Eventually, she awoke on her own time. She went through none of that sleepy, half-awareness that most normal people carried with them when they woke up from a long sleep. She was simply asleep, and then she was awake, and the moment her eyes opened she sat up and began to fix her hair. No matter how they had spent the night, she was Miss Susan through and through. She glanced over at him, her face already settled into its usual stern lines - but after a moment she smiled.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"You're saying that to me?" He gave her a wry look, which she exchanged after a moment of realization. "Don't worry," he continued. She knew as well as he that when he left, she would be back in her classroom just at closing time, as she had been when he had found her.
"I'm not." She slid the sheets off, hiding the very slight embarrassment she felt as she stood, naked. Her face was even and calm as she looked at him, and then looked away. She began to dress, and he watched her, unembarrassed, though not immodest. If she had asked, he would have looked away. They were not human... but they were mostly human, anyway.
"...Lobsang?" she said quietly after a comfortable silence had passed between them, buttoning up her slim, severe black dress.
He sat up fully, leaning his back against the window sill. "Yes?"
"Well. I mean." She sighed, hating herself for asking the question, and turned to look at him. "What happens now?"
He smiled softly. Perhaps a little sadly. And stars glittered in his eyes, stars of ages past. "...I've got my duties, and you've got yours." He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and took her hand in his. "...This isn't the last time your grandfather will need you, Susan. I can tell you that much." She grimaced. She could have told him that, but she hardly wanted to. She wasn't exactly thrilled with the way Death seemed to feel he could use her at his slightest whim. And he always knew what buttons to press! Despite the situation she felt herself coloring like a child, half in indignation and half at Lobsang's gentle reminder. Oh, she knew all too well what they were and what duties they had - but even she wanted to forget that from time to time. Perhaps all the time.
She sat down at his side, and he took her other hand. Her eyes lifted to his, and with a smile that glittered with the reflections of Time's crystalline world, he let go and lifted his hands to smooth her wild hair back. "...If you want me," he said softly, "I'll find you."
"How? You'll only know when to look." She smiled. "I should be the one to look for you."
He returned the smile with a grin of his own. "But you'll only know where to look." Her smile faded, and she nodded with a sigh. "I found you once," he continued. "I'll just come to when I know where you'll be."
"And how will you know that?" she demanded, puzzlement furrowing her pale brow.
"I found you this time, didn't I?" He continued to grin, and after a moment she sighed and smiled in return.
"And if not..." she said thoughtfully after a moment. "If we can't find each other, I mean..." Always the practical one, always prepared to see the worst. It wasn't hard to do that when you knew the worst just naturally tended to happen. It wasn't hard to see that when you were who she was. "...Then we'll always have here."
"And now," he agreed. He touched her face. "I have to go. You know there are things that I can't ignore." She nodded. She knew. It was just the same as Death. He did not have to be present at every single death, he did not have to personally reap the soul of every once-living being, just as Lobsang did not have to watch over every moment of time personally - but Death had to be there all the same, and so did the boy that had become Time. For when it was important. She nodded again. She knew; she understood.
She did not speak, but there was no more need of words. He leaned forward to her, and she shut her eyes. She felt a faint, cool tingle on her lips, and a warm breeze waft through the closed window and over her face. The perfect day. The perfect moment. She still felt the bed beneath her, but she knew it would not be there when she opened her eyes. There was something soft and silky on the back of her hand. He had not gotten dressed. His clothes? The sheets? The cherries...
She held on as long as she could, but all too soon she felt cold, practical Miss Susan creeping into the warmth she wanted to stay with. The thing on her hand seemed to get harder until she was sure it was just one of the gold stars she kept for her students, and the air got closer and closer, until there was no way to deny that she was, in fact, in a cupboard. His clothes were gone, or as good as gone. No cherries. No perfect moment...
She sighed and opened her eyes. She was sitting on a chest in the stationary cupboard, in the dark, alone. But something caught her eye... And she looked down, and despite herself, she felt her eyes burn.
On her hand, on the back of her hand, lay a perfect, rosy pink cherry blossom petal, caught forever falling in a perfect moment in time. On the chest beside her lay a small bag of chocolates. With her other hand, she carefully reached into the bag and selected a chocolate carefully, pushing it past her bruised lips and chewing thoughtfully.
It was a nougat.
She began to laugh through the burning in her eyes, and shut them in the darkness. The backs of her eyelids glittered like faraway supernovas, and she began to chew.
It was a nougat; but somehow, she no longer minded at all.
After all... even with a nougat, you could have a perfect moment.
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Please, don't get offended
Date: 2011-01-24 10:12 pm (UTC)If I may be allowed to nitpick... Susan is anything one reads into the text, of course, and no reader is righter than any other reader, this goes as axiomatic; but personally - and it means just to me personally, I don't have a special insight into the author's mind, no more than you or anyone else has - I think that Susan is not really that needy. She can do without a lover, maybe she'd like to have someone like her to talk with, y'know? to be understood and understand and exchange ideas and snark or what-the-fuck-ever one talks with with friends who get one. I personally - but that's just me - have never seen Susan wanting anything but that kind of 'getting one' relationship which, of course, implies lovers as well but not only.
Sorry, I utterly loved your fic and it seems as if I'm concrit-ing to death, but I'm not. Just that's not exactly my Susan, y'know?
Thanks so much for a splendid read.
Re: Please, don't get offended
Date: 2011-01-25 10:11 am (UTC)I'm really glad you liked the fic, and I'm sorry Susan didn't work for you. That said, I definitely don't see Susan as needy, and I don't think I really portrayed her that way in the fic, myself. I guess I'm not sure what reads as "that needy" to you. That she and Lobsang had sex? That she's sad they can't be together after that? That she doesn't really enjoy her life of solitude? Because... to me, none of those things are needy, and they're also all essentially momentary: the point I was trying to get across is that she has a little moment with Lobsang and it's perfect and a little sad, and then she gets back to being Miss Susan and things go on.
Re: Please, don't get offended
Date: 2011-01-25 11:45 pm (UTC)I wrote that/i> needy because I meant that Susan is always -no matter when, where or what - a brisk person. One could read it like a persona she projects to defend her insecurities, but I personally think her matter-of-fact attitude is not a mask and in Thief of Time she quite easily accepted her human desire for companionship based on really understanding her situation re: mostly human without being at all needy about it. Also, Lobsang can't top (I mean psychologically) Susan and it seemed to me he was being rather dominant in your fic. This is all shades and slight variation on tones, you understand, I do think they are both 99,9%IC.
Anyway, sorry about the reviewing far too late and the babbling.
Re: Please, don't get offended
Date: 2011-01-25 11:46 pm (UTC)Disregard the other posts
Date: 2011-01-25 11:53 pm (UTC)Re: Disregard the other posts
Date: 2011-01-26 01:49 am (UTC)