okayawesome: laura roslin (HBIC)
[personal profile] okayawesome
It was requested on [livejournal.com profile] ontd_asoiaf that I post spoilers for ADWD, since I'm apparently the first member to get their copy. So as not to clutter up the comm or accidentally ruin anything for anyone by accident, I'm putting it all here.

I guess this is also sort of doubling as my commentary.

SO DO NOT CLICK ON THE CUT UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING AND READY TO READ SPOILERS FOR A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, OKAY?

I will update this post as I read. Exciting!


PROLOGUE: Is Varamyr, the skinchanger wildling dude! It's kind of long but the important information is THE OTHERS/WIGHTS ARE MOVING SOUTH, Y'ALL.

Tyrion gets the first POV! He's drunk and going to Pentos to meet Illyrio. WHO IS SENDING HIM ON TO DANY, OMG, SO EXCITED.

The second POV is Dany, which is exactly the chapter that was published at the end of AFFC: she's ruling in Mereen, Drogon killed a baby. D:

Jon has, actually, one of my favorite Jon chapters so far -- someone in _asoiaf once commented that the problem with Jon is that a lot of things happen to him, rather than him doing things. He does things now! He bitches Stannis out, it's pretty cool. Actually, I'm starting to suspect that all of Jon's plot before was just to get him here, to be Lord Commander.

BRAN CHAPTER OMG. We still don't know who Coldhands is, grr. Also, the prologue was more relevant than I thought, because dead-ish!Varamyr shows up as a wolf and fights Summer. SUMMER PEES ON HIM, IT RULES.

Tyrion's next chapter is suuuuuper long and expositiony (no sex), but it has some juicy tidbits about Varys and Illyrio, and that Tywin and Aerys were maybe friends once (Tywin had a friend?). ALSO THAT VISERYS TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH DANY BEFORE HER WEDDING. AUGH.

The first new POV is Quentyn Martell, which actually doesn't surprise me at all. Quentyn is ALSO trying to get to Dany, so apparently GRRM finally got sick of everyone being sick of Dany having no connection to anyone and is moving a lot of the action to Essos!

The next Jon chapter is largely a mirror image of the Sam/Jon chapter in AFFC, so it's kind of weird. Jon definitely has gotten pretty hardcore, though.

Tyrion 3 (I'm going to start doing Tower of the Hand numbers, I think): This is sort of turning into Tyrion Goes Camping, but I like Tyrion enough to be cool with it. Also, possible interesting Mystery Character?

DAVOS 1: MAN I HOPE THIS DUDE DOESN'T ACTUALLY DIE IN THIS BOOK. So far, so good. Salla is being a hater. Also, another red herring possible mother for Jon Snow, out of nowhere!

Jon 3: This is actually Major Spoilery enough that I'm going to whitetext it: Goodbye, Mance Rayder, you were a pretty cool dude with some good ideas. :( Meanwhile, I keep saying this, I realize, but Jon is just getting colder and colder. Damn.

Dany 2: Lots of Mereen politics. I think some of this is just sort of biding time until the rest of the cast shows up. Also, we find out what happened to the dragons after they, you know, started eating people.

"Reek" 1: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. This was one of the most disturbing chapters in the ENTIRE SERIES for me, I'm not even kidding. I literally shivered at the end. I have a lot of feelings about this storyline already and it has only just started.

BRAN 3: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Holy balls, it's the three-eyed crow, and he's REALLY FUCKING SCARY. Also, the wights are kind of like Rage Zombieing it up in this chapter. This book is getting seriously intense. My face right now is like :O, for real.

Tyrion 4, Davos 2, Dany 3: Nothing much happens, here. I mean, it's all sort of necessary Plot Progression stuff. A nice break after the total lunacy of the last few, though. Also, the return of Sassy Gay Friend Xaro Xhoan Daxos!


Aaand I am stopping for now. I have to say, this book is like... a million times better than AFFC, so far. Not quite up there with ASOS, but there's a lot of action and the plot is generally moving forward and it's not too bogged down in "people I could not give less of a shit about." Points, GRRM, I was worried!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 09:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] singlittlebird.livejournal.com
oh shit oh shiiiit! this is so exciting! thank you for making this post!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 10:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com
NP NP! Tell me if I'm spoiling too much or too little, IDK what you guys are after here. :P

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] singlittlebird.livejournal.com
i am only after very slight spoilers right now! i'm so impatient i want all i can get my hands on, yet don't want to ruin the whole plot for myself.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] singlittlebird.livejournal.com
Lolol @ tywin has a friend

Sorry for excessive comments I'M JUST SO EXCITED

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 11:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com
No no, comment away!

It's sort of vague but I'm pretty sure he meant Tywin and Aerys, and I laughed really hard. Like... I can't imagine Tywin having friends, at all.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] singlittlebird.livejournal.com
Yeah I can't imagine him having friends either its too weird

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-01 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sithwitch13.livejournal.com
YOU HAVE A FUCKING COPY.

I AM JEALOUS OF YOU FOREVER AND FOR ALL OF TIME.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-02 12:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] automaticly.livejournal.com
Tywin had a friend?
lmao

wait what happened in the reek chapter that made it so disturbing?

SPOILERS FOR THE REEK STORY, OBVIOUSLY

Date: 2011-07-02 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com
Okay, so Reek is actually Theon, who has been slowly tortured into starved insanity by Ramsay Snow/Bolton since his capture. Ramsay took several of his fingers and toes and some of his skin, broke his teeth, and (it's implied but not confirmed yet) possibly even castrated him, and then shoved him in a dungeon with almost no food for months.

Theon is now MEGA-traumatized and pretty crazy and somewhat suicidal, plus he's halfway to Stockholm syndrome and obsessively does everything Ramsay says.

IT'S REALLY FUCKED UP. In the first chapter he eats a live dungeon rat because he has no food and then spends a page freaking out over what Ramsay might do if he finds out. He also isn't allowed to use the name Theon until he's told to, so he keeps coming up with rhymes to remember to call himself Reek and it's really creepy IMO.

EDIT: I should say, ALL of the Reek chapters are pretty disturbing, it's just that this first one sets the tone in a majorly AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sort of way. The shit Ramsay does to him/makes him do is just shudder-inducing.
Edited Date: 2011-07-02 12:44 pm (UTC)

Re: SPOILERS FOR THE REEK STORY, OBVIOUSLY

Date: 2011-07-02 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] automaticly.livejournal.com
WOW THAT IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP
o my god poor theon

Re: SPOILERS FOR THE REEK STORY, OBVIOUSLY

Date: 2011-07-02 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com
I'm a super hardcore Theon hater who blames him for basically everything that goes wrong after book two, so I'm impressed that GRRM found a way to make me feel for him. I'm not really thinking "OMG poor Theon," but I pity the fuck out of him right now, and it's a really compelling story.

It seems like he's setting Theon up for redemption, so maybe I'll stop just wanting him to die by the end of the book, who knows.

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